CJ's · Rambles

So, I won this creative writing award at my college. (Second place, and 500$! I have a pretty certificate to frame.) I didn't mention it before now because it was a secret. I wasn't sure if any of my classmates were on my friends list or not.

So, I read at the Pearls Launch tonight and accepted the award, and nearly died from excitement. My mom was here for a teacher's conference, but she stayed a few extra days so she could come to the event. I think I read better than at Writers Unplugged. I didn't blurt out everything this time, though I was still really nervous. My mom gave me one of her anti-anxiety pills, which helped. Mom bought six copies of Pearls to distribute to relatives.

Wheeeeee!

Aaaah, I have a really freaky lump.

I've had it for about a year or so, but it used to be just a little red thing. (I can't remember if it was originally a mole, but I thought for ages that it was some kind of weird bug bite.)

But yesterday, it was itching so I looked at it... and it's now a bulging dime-sized purple veiny monster with red spots. It doesn't even feel like skin anymore. There's barely any feeling, and it's hard like scar tissue. The edges around it are purplish too. It looks like I've sprouted some kind of weird nipple on my side. o.O WTF!

Yeah, I think I'm going to go to a doctor... today maybe. I was freaking myself out last night googling pictures and info about skin cancer, and... yeah. o_o

I went to that event that the college puts on for creative writing students. I read two of my poems in front of a bunch of people. My hands were shaking, and I think I was talking waaaay too close to the microphone. When I read the poem about crazy squirrels, though, people laughed. =x So they must have been able to understand what I was saying, even though I was speaking really fast, like a kid on too much sugar. The event was really awesome, though. I love seeing classmates read. (Though I feel like everyone else was so calm and prepared compared to me. >.> Some of them were great at reading out loud. I need to work on that still.)

I showed that poem (the one that is Poem of the Month) to my mom and she showed Mrs Burton back at MESS. Apparently she wants to print it in the school's newsletter. I guess people in Kitimat like it because it references the Kuldo? Wheeeee. =x

...So, I have discovered that it's not Adam's snoring that keeps me up at night. Well, at least it's not entirely that. Because he's gone now and... I can hear all the noises from outside. I think he absorbs sound. You know, like how baking soda absorbs all the smells in the fridge? Are there owls in this region? I swear to god I heard an owl last night. And wolves. I turned on the fan even though I was freezing cold, just to drown out the sounds of the night. I miss my bed-warmer/sound-absorber. I hope he comes home soon.

I still haven't seen any of my Poem of the Month posters up. There's only three more days of class left this semester. D= I hope they put them up soon. Well, maybe people will read them during exams? I'm sure there will be plenty of people wandering around the school bored, waiting for their exams to start. A lot of people show up early and then don't study, it seems.

Also, I really should be working on that essay that's due... tomorrow. Yeeeeah. >.> I'm going to be staying up until 4am-ish, probably. Good thing I'm hyper!

Edit: Yep, 4:30 AM. I completed the BEAST. This is probably the worst essay I've ever written and I suspect that my English teacher is going to tell me she's disappointed in me. >.> (She liked my first essay enough to ask to use it as a sample for future classes.) ...But whatever. I finished it, through sickness and family emergency, and I'll take the crappy grade I deserve. (Eh, it's better than the zero that comes from not doing it at all, right?)

This made my day! ;-; I've been so stressed, depressed, and discouraged lately. Adam is flying back to Kitimat tomorrow due to a family emergency and I don't know when he'll be coming back. =/
But... my poetry teacher submitted one of my poems for 'Poem of the Month' and mine was chosen!

My poem is going to be on posters all over the school. And it will be in the school newspaper and in Pearls (an annual collection of the best student work).

I'm also going to be reading two poems at this college school event thingy put on for students. (That's not related to being chosen for poem of the month. I actually volunteered because I wanted to practice reading things out loud in front of people.) I think I'll read the poem that was chosen, though. ...I just wish Adam wasn't going away. I kind of hoped he would come and hear me read. =/ I guess it's more of a student event anyway. And he has his own stuff to worry about right now.

I stayed home from class yesterday. My poor perfect attendance, ruined! >.> Oh well. I guess it can't be helped. When I woke up yesterday, my throat was so swollen that I could barely swallow. It was kind of alarming in an 'I hope my throat doesn't close up and suffocate me' kind of way.

I think I should maybe actually go to the doctor today. Every time I cough, it feels like I'm scraping the inside of my throat with sandpaper or a rusty blade or something. But I have to cough because I'm drowning in my own lungs.

Also, my mom is in town and wants to go out for dinner. I'm not sure it's such a good idea, but it's been ages since I've gone out to a restaurant. Plus... free food! And the pleasure of, uh, seeing my mom, of course. Maybe it would be better to stay home and get take-out, though. Probably shouldn't spread the germs around. (Even if I always go to school sick because I'm an awful person. =x)

I signed up for my classes for next semester last week. I'll be taking 'The Anthropology of Healing,' 'History of the Middle Ages' (might be useful for Fantasy writing =x), 'Advanced Poetry Writing' (I would have never guessed that I would /like/ writing poetry.), and 'Screenwriting.' (That one is a course about writing for TV. A cool classmate recommended it to me. I figured it might be interesting, and could possibly improve my dialogue.)

I'm going to miss my Short Fiction class.

Today was the last day. Afterwards, our teacher invited everyone who could make it to a bar and he bought drinks. (I don't drink drink, but still. Pretty cool. =X) The class was out at two, but nearly everyone was still there at 8PM when I had to leave. (Final quiz tomorrow. Should study.)

Man, a lot of fun. I exchanged emails with a few people, so hopefully I'll have some good writing buddies for criticism outside of class.

I hope, hope, hope that the revised story I handed in today makes it into Pearls. (The school's anthology of student work.) >.>' My revision was a little shallow, but still. I can hope, right?